Sometimes it's hard to admit to ourselves that we are indeed human which means things aren't always going to be perfect! I'm going through that reality check right now.
As easy as it can be to put on a nice happy smiling face and potray to those around us that everyhting is ok and that your life is just fine and dandy you're going to have a breaking point sooner or later. I gues you could say i'm at that point! I'm not saying that i've got a BAD life, infact I think the exact opposite. Overall I love my life. I've got two great kids and a loving husband who loves me for me REGARDLESS of my ups and my downs but there are just those times ( and i'm sure i'm not alone on this....although it's very easy to convince myself that I am) I think what the heck is wrong with me??! I know it's Probably just a little phase of depression...which again is hard for me to admit but like i said i'm human! I'm NOT perfect! I don't always have it all together!
Lately I have just felt so down. I'm usually a VERY happy outgoing person so feeling this way has been especially rough for me. I HATE feeling this way! I tend to get very irritated over the simpliest things, I've had absolutly no patience! I tend to tear myself down alot and focus on the negatives rather than the positives and I let things bother me that really don't and shouldn't matter.
Who cares if the laundry isn't done? Who cares if the floor has had crums on it for the past couple days? Who cares if i'm not fitting into the size jeans i'd like to be in? Who cares if money is tight? Who cares if I cry when i've had a bad day? Who cares if people like me or not?
Do those thing really matter? Do they define who I am?
The list can go on and on but really WHO CARES??? I know the people who REALLY matter the most don't..... so why do I????
I get so caught up in all this PETTY CRAP that it has consumed me and has been breaking me down little by little.
What bothers me the most and is the hardest for me to face is that it seems the ones we love and care about the most are the ones we take all our frustraion out on.
THEY are the ones who suffer. It shouldn't be that way... but it is.
I hate feeling WEAK! That's SO NOT ME!
I need to be STRONG!
I need to pull my head out and get my act together!
I nee to put my time and postive energy towards my Hubby and my Kids!
They DESERVE a HAPPY ME!!!
THEY are what makes me HAPPY!
True Happiness is something found within ourselves that I believe is a choice.
You are either going to choose to be happy or choose not to be regardless of any situation.
I sure am ready to feel Happy again!
Hopefully letting it all out like this is a start!
Thanks for letting me vent.... I needed that!
